In May 1940 eighteen-year old Geoffrey Wellum joins the 92 squadron of the Royal Air Force and is taken to the pub,where pilots who have seen action sign their names on a blackboard. Next day,with no flying experience,he is expected to pilot a Spitfire;he is nervous but exhilarated. Soon he is seeing action against the Luftwaffe,his sense of duty dispelling fear,and,having taken part in the Battle of Britain,is awarded a medal,though he never signs the blackboard. By 1941 he has flown fifty missions and feels invincible,though he sees friends die and in 1942 the stress causes him to have a breakdown. However he survives the war and,in the present,talks direct to camera,voicing his feelings about his service experiences.

Two actors, as their make up is applied, talk about the size of their parts. Then into the film: Laurence Sterne's unfilmable novel, Tristram Shandy, a fictive autobiography wherein the narrator, interrupted constantly, takes the entire story to be born. The film tracks between "Shandy" and behind the scenes. Size matters: parts, egos, shoes, noses. The lead's girlfriend, with their infant son, is up from London for the night, wanting sex; interruptions are constant. Scenes are shot, re-shot, and discarded. The purpose of the project is elusive. Fathers and sons; men and women; cocks and bulls. Life is amorphous, too full and too rich to be captured in one narrative.

Lancelot lives by the sword. In fact, they're next door neighbours, so teaming up to fight for money comes pretty naturally. Lady Guinevere, on her way to marry King Arthur is ambushed by the evil Sir Malagant. Fortunately Lancelot is lurking nearby and he rescues his future queen. They fall in love, but Guinevere still fancies the idea of wearing a crown, so she honours her promise to Arthur. Can Lady Guinevere remain faithful, or will this Pretty Woman become a lady of the knight?

Alain Lefevre is a boxer paid by a Marseille mobster to take a dive. When he wins the fight he attempts to flee to America with the mobster's girlfriend Katrina. This plan fails and he seeks escape by joining the foreign legion. As part of the legion he tangles with abusive lieutenant Steinkampf and bonds with legionnaires Luther, Mackintosh and Rosetti. The mobster discover his whereabouts and enrolls two hitmen to finish him off. With their fort under siege and enemies within, Lefevre finds that second chances are difficult to come by in the Legion.